I am over being ashamed. Turning 29

Today, I turn 29. I’ve really hit a place where I am good with my age not going up any more haha. With that being said, I have never been so thrilled to see the end of a year. This has truly been a hard one. My boyfriend rented a place on Tybee Island, GA. This is the cutest little beach town. We are going to go antique shopping and exploring later when he wakes up and I eventually fall asleep. -_- I’m wired and have been up all night. Though this is a cute little place that we are renting, you can hear EVERYTHING. When people take a shower  upstairs you can literally hear the water going through the pipes haha. Fire crackers went off earlier too among other noises!

I am about to google a good coffee shop here because I am going to need one.

You can WALK to the beach from the place we are staying. I am blown away by that!  Once in my entire life did my family rent a beach house in Charleston. I remember how fun it was, the monopoly, and the onion chip dip. I wish I had more memories like that. I need to invest money in having more memories as opposed to in buying STUFF.

Considering getting a tattoo in the next few days. Going to see if anywhere in Savannah is available. I’m sure someone I know will have a cow if they realize I am serious about getting a sleeve. I respect all opinions but with that being said, I truly believe everyone’s body and choices are their own. I see tattoos as art.

I get the question a lot as to… what are your career goals? Let’s just say that in my life I have had MANY.  There was a time in my life I wanted to be a teacher, then a CNA, later a Nurse.  For a while I considered Photography. Looked into art school until I saw the price…. Currently, I am in school for Business. Somehow, I did manage to get an Associates of Science in Social Sciences. I don’t feel like I learned anything. I have the certificate if I ever get around to framing it… So back to the question of career goals…

Here is the deal. I’m tired of feeling like I have to prove myself to ANYONE. Or that I should make choices in hopes that they will result in love & acceptance. OVER IT. DONE. Life is truly too short to try and please others or to be “good enough” to be loved. Anyone making you feel like that does not deserve to be in your life.

I’m an artist, an animal lover, a traveler, a photographer, a career changer, a depression survivor,book, throw, & flower collector, a good friend, a pet rescuer, a pet sitter, and a kennel attendant. MY GOAL for next year is to focus on all that being okay. I want to love myself more and do more things that bring me peace. I need to be selfish. To read more books. My heart wants to trust again, and I should follow it. Crying less and listening more is also a good goal. I often feel so much that it is overwhelming and scary. I never know how I am going to wake up feeling or what I want to become that day. Some days I feel like I have completely failed.  There are good things in my life though that I know are placed there as life lines to give me hope.

I am choosing to believe that so much is going to get better.


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